What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: I’m Not Your Plaything


Don't open another door before closing the first
Old folks say it, so it sounds right. It's also applicable to a situation many people find themselves square in the middle of. Letting go and moving on is hard, but is made damn near impossible when there's so much love still involved or enough time hasn't elapsed to heal the wounds. But life doesn't stop, your heart continues to beat and occasionally you find yourself in a situation that grows out of your control. There are a few of us that seem like magnets for women in these situations and end up feeling like a Loose Ends song…hanging on a string.

The men in these situations become collateral damage because of the unresolved nature of the previous relationships. I really doubt there's anything intentional, just a ball of confusion that tends to bounce into the yards of unsuspecting men, who pick it up to play and eventually home to meet mama. It's one of those things that happens when your mind is telling you one thing, your heart the opposite and your body is doing what the hell it wants to do! So some poor sap is on the other side trying to dance to your rhythm, while holding on to that string for dear life.

The new fools hold on, seeing what they want to see, while old fools let go after a while and plain' ol fools never grab a hold of the rope. I can't tell you which of the fools is correct, but a wise man once told me that love and happiness can make you do right and make you do wrong. Wait a minute, that was Al Green, but he was right. It's hard to let go of something that feels so right (and so good) even though you know it's wrong, regardless of how much you must appear to be a fool on the periphery. Your friends don't understand, hell, you don't understand half the time, but you keep holding on like Simply Red.

There's no blame to be placed because we like what we like, but after a passage of time, a resolution is needed. As the old folks say, there comes a time when you must shit or get off the pot. We can't go back in time, but if there's something so strong that you can't let go, while he's dangling for dear life on that string, you may need to deal with that and allow him a chance to place his feet on solid ground. Relationships are hard enough as is, but they are really hard when one person has plans for the future and your thoughts are stuck in the past, pretty much impossible. At some point the doubt takes over, you question if you’re good enough, it must be something if she’s still contemplating and you changing your grip on that string.

But it's all in the game I suppose, you win some, lose more, but you live to play again…as long as you don't hang yourself from that rope.

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