What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: Scenes from a First Date

Have you ever had the occasion to sit next to two people on their first date? Their conversation makes great fodder over your food, because you get to listen to what could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship or the beginning of the end to a disastrous outing for two people that should've never shared minutes together over a meal and adult beverages. If you've been looking for a gauge to determine where you are as a person, go on a date with someone new. You'll find out if you're dull, intriguing, what type of signals you're throwing out there and if you have what it takes for a long-term relationship.

I told you earlier this year that the first date should be informative, not invasive; you don't need to disclose everything that you think, just show that you think. Oftentimes we believe that the first date is our one shot to impress upon the opposite sex that you should get with this, but all you truly need to do is leave a bit of impression and mystery that will lead to subsequent dates. There is such a thing as too much information and more times than not, women are guilty of this infraction. There are some things that you shouldn't disclose on the first date, like only having a couch and a bed in your place, because now my focus has shifted. I no longer want to get to know you; I want to get the drawls!

You've managed to change our friendly outing into a mission, with little need for reconnaissance work, because you gave up the goods after one apple martini and now I'm going to you three more, so I can get your goods. The same way that men talk their way out of sex, women talk their way into sex, because it doesn't take much to flip the switch in our heads and get our mojo working. We go from 0 to 60 in 2.2 seconds. Yes, it takes that long from thinking, "Damn, I can introduce her to my mom" to "I want to make her call me Daddy!"

Next thing you know you're left with a wet spot, wondering why he doesn't call you. If you're serious about dating, be generic, have an air of mystery around you that will keep us coming back for more, which will keep us intrigued in getting to know you. If you are unsure what type of impression you're making on a guy, peep out how fast he's eating. If he's tearing through his food and barely looking up at you, he's either trying to get the hell away from you because you told him you want to get married next week or trying to speed through his meal to get to your air mattress, his futon or the Red Roof Inn! There's also the possibility that he just doesn't have good table manners, in that case, you should just step off now.

The first date should leave something to the imagination, leave reason for a second, third, fourth date and phone calls or just time spent between those dates. However, it's hard to get there when you're playing "This is Your Life" over Caesar salad or letting him know that you're a good time girl way too soon. On your next first date slow your roll, dispense information proportionally, get to know him beyond what he does and his smile and see if he calls you for another date…if not, you may need to take a look in the mirror.

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