What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: I Think About Her Every Once in a While

Ladies, have you ever looked at a guy and thought to yourself that he isn't there with you right now? There's a great chance that he wasn't, he's in his head thinking of her smile, her laugh, her smell, he's thinking of her. Who is she? She's the one that got away, the one he never had the chance with, the one he just couldn't get up the nerve to step to and say, "Hello. What's up? How are you?" We all have that one. The woman that will silently drive us crazy, even when we're with you and you're driving us crazy.

It's nothing personal against you, we understand that in most cases we weren't your first…or second choice, but the choice was made. However, through the years there's been a woman or two that exceeded every expectation we've set for a woman, but just as quick as she appeared she was gone, taking with her our ability to dream, to love unconditionally, that forever shit. In many cases it isn't gone forever, but there's a large space of time in which we're totally consumed with the idea of her and each woman we meet in the interim is simply in the way as we await her return.

But she never returns. She's just a thought, an "I wonder where she is" or a kick in your ass for not doing things differently. In the worst cases, she's a Google or Facebook search away, which is kinda creepy, but makes complete sense in your mind. In severe cases, she's the reason we can't commit to a woman that loves our funky asses for who we are. Ladies, you're right when you think there's someone one, there's always someone else, maybe not physically, but mentally she's in the middle of your relationship. In time you'll destroy the myth, you'll remind him that she's gone and you're here, but are you willing to put in the time? Are you willing to sit through his far away gazes and the way he just doesn't seem to want to be in tune with your feelings and emotions?

Sonny said you're allowed three great women in your lifetime, but many men would testify that we've gotten stuck on one. She's the invisible opponent you all are fighting against in pursuit of our never-ending love. By now you're wondering how do you defeat the myth? She's never totally vanquished, but her memory can be set on the shelf if you're just being yourself, providing him with everything he's looking for in a woman and a little sugar on top. Do that and he'll be happy and you'll be happy, just know that he's gonna think about her every once in a while…

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