No Future in Your Frontin'

I’m late. I know that I’m late. I couldn’t let this go any further, ha to get it off my chest, but what the hell is a lace front wig? I know some of you are wondering how I don’t know wat a lace front is, but I shouldn’t know what a lace front is, nor should I see what’s beneath front. But I didn’t know and I do see, so I couldn’t hold my peace any longer. But after seeing one of my student’s hairline all jacked up and 45 minutes on Google and I had a good idea of the madness going around. You have to understand that the women in my life don’t do extensions, weaves, wigs or even microbraids; I’m not a fan of none of it, so it doesn’t get worn. I’m a strict believer of doing the best with what you have. If you have long hair do it, if you have short hair, you better work it!

Back to the subject at hand, to be honest, I’m not sure how women are wearing these joints. They look absolutely foolish, a hot damn mess is more like it, but yall are trying to look good. I’m not sure how good you look when you look like you unzipped your hair and your face fell out, but yall are going for that Tyra or Beyonce look. Let’s be clear, that big lion’s mane hair never looks good and only makes a bit of sense when you’re performing. If you’re at the bar…slow down baby! I’m not sure what a good lace front looks like, because the hairline on them all looks so artificial to me just seems like something that shouldn’t be worn. I can’t understand why you can’t make an appointment with the Dominicans to get your doobie tightened up, roll your hair up at night, keep a brush cut, go natural, rock Anita Baker style, but do something better than looking like a damn fool.

Yall go to work with these things on your head? I’m not talking about Walmart or the mall; I’m speaking about a regular 9-5 and sit in meetings with your hairline looking like a US map? With the glue evident, just tacky! I can’t speak for the White guys that love the blonde hair and blue eyes, but I’d like to apologize for every brother that made you think you had to drop a few extra pounds on your shoulder to feel beautiful. Black women wearing wigs goes back a long way and the game morphed into weaves for a stretch, but has not reverted to wigs and I can’t believe that women under 40 are rocking these joints. Then again, according to some of you, I don’t understand or like women, but I do know one thing, ain’t no future for Teef and a woman rocking a lace front.

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