I’m Disappointed in America: Booty Pop Panties

The cure for noassatall has arrived! I know you've seen the commercial for the "Booty Pop" panties designed to give you the sexy booty "just like the celebrities" as it claims. Like the celebrities huh? I guess they're talking about Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez or the ghetto superstars we see everyday because most celebrities I see on the red carpet are in need of these drawls.

White women and a few of you booty deprived sistas out there are ecstatic about this "invention", but keep in mind that wearing these joints to happy hour or the club is as big of a lie as that big weave you're wearing. You know the fellas are checking to see how that thang looks right after he looks to see if you have runover shoes on, so faking him out is just like him lying about those four kids he has.

So, now you can fill out those Apple Bottom jeans you bought on sale last year and that dress you just purchased for the summer will look a little bit sexier. I guess the good thing about this product is it keeps you from going to the Dominican Republic to get shots in the gluteus maximus like you're man's favorite stripper, but it's just more proof that many of us can't be happy with what we've been born with.

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