Desperate Housewives

Shaquille O'Neal owes me for 30 minutes of my time, because it is his fault that I spent a half-hour watching "Basketball Wives" on VH1! Had he gone to Sex Rehab with Tiger, Shaunie would not have gotten her gang of groupies that were chosen together for a show that will seemingly give those tacky "housewives" in Atlanta a run for their money.

Let's start there, how are you a basketball wife and you're not married? I understand where they are trying to go with this, but Shaunie and Jennifer (Eric Williams' wife) are the only ladies that have even been married. Ok, Gloria is engaged to Matt Barnes, but the other chicks are merely exes of players. Outside of Shaunie, these chicks have been with journeyman, nondescript players in the NBA, with the exception of Evelyn who was engaged to Antoine Walker for ten years, but I think he was overrated and as we now know, a degenerate gambler. Suzie who popped up halfway through the show is the ex-girlfriend of Michael Olowokandi, the worst #1 draft pick in NBA history!

That leaves Royce, hmmm, much wasn't said about Royce's connection to the show, except that she's a former dancer and possibly a groupie. It just so happens that Royce gave birth to Superman's child, that's right, she's church boy Dwight Howard's baby mama! The chick that was dropping it like it was hot by the pool (Luda liked it!) was his kryptonite and got a baby out of the deal. I wonder if Dwight didn't want his name associated with the niggerdom that she displayed on the show. Did they really have an intervention for her because they don't want to be associated with her ways? Are they trying to turn a hoe into a housewife? Why not just distance yourself instead of giving us the made-for-TV drama?

Speaking of drama, Shaunie and Gloria had to have a heart to heart, because it turns out that Shaq was banging Gloria's sister. I wonder who her sister is, hard to keep up with Shaq these days, that seems to be the only place he's scoring in his old age. Once again, these are supposed to be ladies of a certain distinction, a class level that separates them from the groupies (the lot most of them were probably picked from), but as we see in the previews, there's plenty of classlessness to come. I'm pretty sure Kobe and wife and LeBron and his lady laid in bed watching that crap and just laughed their heads off, as did most guys in the NBA, happy that their significant other wasn't participatory in that horrendous nonsense!

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