Everybody Knows I'm a Mutha******* Monster!

When I’m in Polo smiling they think they got me!
I’m not sure what people are thinking these days, but ain’t nothing sweet over here, I’m that same Teef. So you wanted a nigga…nigga here now! It’s a couple of people thinking they can say whatever they want to say to me without a response. I guess they figured I’m smiling now, so I’m ripe to take shots and digs at and I’ll let it go. Wrong! ‘Tis the season for me to open up and let you have it. I guess you must’ve forgot that after I press these keys and click “submit” these words are instantly transmitted to a few thousand people. Don’t make me relapse and start posting names, events and pictures.

I get it; you’re overcompensating for your underachievement and in the process attempting to cover up your incompetence, insecurities and instabilities, but to lash out at me for simply trying to help you, lighten your load is asinine. I was just trying to be real with you, because it’s obvious that too many people in your life aren’t. But I can see that somewhere in your distorted view of me, you took it completely wrong. Is it my job to carry a list of your insecurities in my wallet? You’re far too old to act like a child in this many situations. Actually, your children are far too old for you to still be acting like a child.

That brings me back to your intelligence, or lack thereof, which causes you to process what isn’t there and miss the intent of actions by others. This is what leads to your irrational decisions and your inability to have a mature conversation and makes you come off as insecure and emotional over the simplest of things. Like when I attempted to be a friend by taking what should be a personal conversation off of the Facebook wall and your first response was, “I guess your girlfriend doesn’t want you talking to women on Facebook?” What kind of nonsense is that? I was simply trying to save you the embarrassment of having a few hundred people peek into your so-called life and provide you a sounding board and possibly some advice on how to handle your money matters or family issues or just vent about where you are in life.

But your response completely caught me off-guard and showed a level of immaturity that I didn’t expect. As a matter of fact, I really thought we were better than that. And for the record, my woman has not an issue with me having female friends, what kind of insecure woman do you think I would settle for? All yall know me better than that. Besides, if a chick leaves me, she’s gonna leave me for something, she gonna leave cuz Halle, she ain’t gonna leave me for Nothing! But I guess that drama and chaos is what makes you feel like you’re living, sort of like those broads on “Basketball Wives”…

Which leads me to you Mr. 8-5 aka Chad Johnson aka Chad Ochocino. Yeah, I guess I would be upset if someone said my future wife lacked class and I guess the “F you” that you sent to me was chivalrous and all that, but playa I ain’t tell no lies. Week after week her and her gang of mean girls rolls with their sophomoric antics for the world to see looking like bitter, spoiled, old ass groupies! These chicks are damn near 40, gossiping and bullying people like teenagers. I was simply trying to do you a favor man-to-man, but I guess my offer was rejected, you must want that type of chaos in your life. You act like I told you something new though; these kinds of comments have been floating around since the show premiered earlier this year and were amplified when her breasts were floating around the internet like a new Kanye West song.

The point of it all is that you guys have chosen to expose your reality on television, so you are fair game for commentary and no one is making anything up, the proof is in the pudding homeboy. Maybe I was the first person to address his opinion directly to you. If so, that means you don’t have any real niggas around you, which is sad. Especially since we know she got ghost on Antoine Walker when the money dried up and here you are at 32 having a down year and a torn ACL away from being down a few stacks. Check your own huddle, you’ll always be #2!

You have 1.5 million followers on Twitter, so your response was free promotion for me, I picked up 200 new subscribers Sunday, so I’ll thank you. Oh yeah, to those followers that took the time to mention me in your tweets, yall act like you didn’t watch the same show I did or you’re too busy di*kriding, but ain’t no di*kriding over here! But with a 3-11 record, your numbers down and the best days of your career behind you, I guess I would say “F me!” too…Merry Christmas!

Now let me get back on my happy sh*t!

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