The 2010 Year in Review: Treat Her Like a Lady

Now I like opening doors/Picking up her hanky off the floor…Treat her like a lady

Light her cigarette if she smokes (I don’t really dig ‘em if they smoke)/Even help her with her coat…Treat her like a lady
Complement her on her hair/Even help her with her chair…Treat her like a lady

Now I’m the kind of guy that don’t believe that chivalry is dead, when deserved. Understand I’m a lady’s man, not to be confused with a ladies man, I love when a woman is a lady. Don’t twist my words and think that I don’t love independent, self-assured women, I’m far from the type of dude that wants a meek woman in his life, but there’s something about a demure, sophisticated woman that I find enticing. I have no issue with aggressive, assertive women, because let’s be honest, it’s a tough world out there. Just show me that you can soften up that Lady of Rage pose every now and again.

However, if you find yourself cussing out a gas attendant or security/police are usually called in to escort you from the premises of some establishment, chances are I have no use for you. Hey, I often say the seven words that you can’t say on television, but I cringe when I hear a woman drop the F bomb. Now, there’s a time and place for some language, but there are certain phrases that I should never hear from a woman. Because my mama’s reading this I won’t go into detail on those, but use you imagination.

For my ladies that like a taste or two, sloppy drunk just ain’t cool. Bottom line, it’s ok to get your sip on, but falling asleep at the bar or being carried out is just unladylike. Seriously, you think it’s a good look to start slurring your words, talking about all the men that did you wrong and damn near pee on yourself…twice? Fellas, isn’t it cute when you see a woman drinking one of those fruity drinks, slowly? You know, it’s pink, looks like cotton candy. Then, you look down the bar and you see a chick doing double shots of Hennessey with no chaser, don’t you wanna throw up in your mouth just a little? Smoking is whole other story, just a disgusting habit and really takes a toll on your teeth, your breath and..yuk!

I went to open the door for a woman at the bank the other day and you would’ve thought I touched her butt the way she looked at me. She turned up her nose, looked me up and down and grabbed the door for herself. I thought to myself damn, is it that cold out here? Did she just connect me with some of the no-good men to dance through her life and immediately go into survival mode? Damn babygirl, I was just trying to be a gentleman, I could’ve walked though the door and let it close in the face of you and your kids, but my mama and them taught me better.

Ladies, sometimes you just have to be a lady and let a man be a man. I’m far from a punk, but I ain’t screaming “Thug Life” either, I just have a little sense and a preference for someone that doesn’t need charm school and knows not to go outside with a bonnet on her head. I’m gonna open the door for you, pull out your chair, help you put your coat on, pay the bill (most of the time), walk you to the car, walk you to your door, do all of the things you expect a man to do. That’s the least you can expect. I just want to encounter a woman that chews with her mouth closed, doesn’t burp loudly or isn’t obvious when her drawls are riding up on her.

Whatever happened to the dainty female? Are they extinct? Didn’t you play with dolls when you were younger? I swear this next generation of females is harder than the males. Dudes are wearing skinny jeans and women are telling guys to man up! I don’t care how cute you thought that fist-bump Barack and Michelle Obama had on stage was, I don’t want to dap my woman up, we aren’t on a bowling team together. I want to hug her, caress her back gently, kiss her on the nose; I’ll save the pounds for my homies…Happy Birthday B!!!

Leave a respond