The 2010 Year in Review: A Good Man is Hard to Find*

*If you’re a trifling chick

I have a good deal of friends that I will constitute as good dudes. Guys that work hard, go about things the right way, handle their business, and move through life as such. They don’t have glamorous careers, don’t drive expensive cars and don’t make it rain in the strip club (only on birthdays). But, by all accounts, I would say they are good men.

Now, plant yourself anywhere 1.5 women congregate and at some point in the conversation, you will hear how there aren’t any good men to be found. Ladies, allow me to let you in on a secret, if you’re a good woman with her stuff together, a good man with his stuff together will find you. It’s up to you to be receptive and step out of Ft. Knox and allow this man to get to know you.

I’ll be the first to admit that there are some brothers out there living foul from time-to-time (present company not excluded), but to throw the few in with the many, would be the same as me calling all women some names that my mama will take issue with. Each situation is a new experience and should be treated as such, leave that baggage and give a man half the chance. If you and I had dealings in 1998 and it ended badly, tough, move on, I have. Blame that on me, immaturity, the boogie or you can blame it on the alcohol. However, the next six guys you meet aren’t me and they had nothing to do with what went wrong between us, so stop treating them as if they are on the speed clock to confirming your lack of faith in men.

Far too many women are running around with undiagnosed cases of BBS and it’s spreading like wildfire. For those of you that don’t know what BBS is, it stands for Bitter Bitch Syndrome. You walk around giving the world your ass to kiss and expect men to jump through hoops just for the right for you to tell him that he’s not good enough for you. Here you are pushing a man away that's willing to help rebuild, revive and renew your faith in love. Then you wonder why your ass is alone on the couch eating ice cream watching Reality TV marathons!

Don’t get me wrong, it is great to raise your standards, but you’re gonna need to match your expectations. No man in his right man is gonna settle in with someone not on his level…unless you’re Tiger Woods. So while you’re shooting for the moon, I hope you’re playing amongst the stars your damn self and not stuck on stupid back on Earth.

I hear those clocks ticking, but some of you need to stop traveling with a collapsible broom in your purse. I always thought it was about attraction, compatibility, depth seeking, growth, development and then deciding if you wanted to take the long walk with one another? Preconceived ideas sabotage the relationship at hello, so allow a man the time to get to know you without the scowl on your face and chip on your shoulder, you may be surprised. I know some of you have been hurt deeply, but please believe Smokey Robinson, Babyface and Ne-Yo aren’t the only fellas with feelings and emotions. We all have baggage, been through breakups with war stories, but we live to fight another battle.

My point is simple, there are millions of men out here willing to love, adore and provide for you just the way you’ve always wanted. Yes, you may have to sift through some undesirables for him, but he’s there. If you put as much time into getting yourself in order and then allowing yourself to get to know a man as you did picking out those shoes you have on today, you may have woke up with a smile on your face this morning…

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