The 2010 Year in Review: I Was Made to Love Her

Have you ever seen someone and simply said, “Damn!”? You have no idea what it is about this person, but they just have “it”. That “it” is enough to jumpstart your curiosity and frenzy your mind over the possibilities of her or him. It is this “it” that attracts you to this person and allows you to be drawn in and well on your way to love and ultimately cursing the day “it” caught your eye. I have fallen victim to “it” plenty of times in the past and I’m sure I will “it” will cross my path again in the coming weeks.

Around the New Year I put together two surveys and jokingly said I was trying to put together “The Perfect Woman”. Some of you ladies were quick to say that there is no such thing as a “perfect woman”, or that every woman is perfect (yeah right) and one even ventured to say that I let the perfect woman go. The truth is, I do believe in perfection, at least when it comes to me. The purpose of these surveys was to pick the brains of a cross-section of women in an attempt to gauge their temperature when it came to their thoughts and experiences in relationships.

This was not a joke I was playing or an attempt to belittle women whatsoever, I am sincere in my efforts to learn more about relationships and finding out how I can better in the area. So I figured why not go straight to the source? The results were and remain completely anonymous, all I have is raw data and after sifting through 376 responses, I’ve created the woman that I was made to love…

I will be introduced to this gorgeous African-American woman by mutual friends at a get together and despite her obvious beauty, her personality and the intelligence she demonstrates in that first conversation will win me over. I will find out during a conversation over dinner on our first date that I won her over with my sense of humor, frank conversation and the fact that I’ve taken care of my teeth over the years. During this conversation I will find out that we were born within months of each other, her parents have been married for 35 years and she says their marriage is the template she will follow when she marries. She’s extremely proud of receiving her college degree and enrolled in grad school, because though she enjoys her career, she feels as though she’s slightly underpaid and unfulfilled in her current gig.

We take an after-dinner walk and the conversation turns to relationships. She’s been in three serious relationships and though none of them ended well, she hasn’t given up hope on being married and having her first child before she’s 35. She tells me that her last boyfriend cheated on her and she really wants to know why men can’t seem to stay faithful. I have no answer for her, but she tells me that trust, communication and overall respect for her are the most important factors in relationships. I nod yes, agreeing more for the sake of keeping the conversation going, I think we’re going a little too deep for the first date, I just wanted to catch a movie.

She goes on to tell me that she’s recently started dating again because she’s looking for companionship, living alone has brought on feelings of loneliness on more than one occasion. She’s joined a few internet dating sites, because it’s been hard to find a decent guy. She confesses that she’s cheated in the past, she says that she was young, immature and didn’t feel the support and attention she needed from the relationship. She regrets that she cheated, but regrets the fact that she stuck around a relationship that wasn’t yielding happiness and drove her to cheating even more.

Three months and numerous dates later, we find ourselves in an exclusive relationship and I’m falling in love with her. I’m in love with HER…I’m completely enamored by her intelligence, her confidence and her personality. We have our clashes; she believes my confidence borders on arrogance and I believe she’s too emotional and her attitude can get the best of her at times, but we make it work, because we’re honest with one another and we talk about our issues.

We’ve found a balance that works for us and have connected platonically, emotionally and physically. She really loves to cook and does so as often as possible, but I have my nights to cook, usually when she has class or goes to the gym. I tell her that her body is perfect, but she thinks she can stand to lose a few pounds and tone up some. I rub my belly and thank God that I’m a man. She makes no secret of the fact that she wants to get married and have children within a few years. Though the possibility of a family scares the hell out of me, the possibility of living without her is even more terrifying, she is my perfect woman.

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