Privates Investigator

Privates Investigator

Labels: Relationships

Oh, she's gonna kill me for this!

Fellas be careful! A friend of mine called me after a date last night to tell me how it went and ask for some advice. This is not at all uncommon, for some reason, people seem to ask my advice on dating like I'm so successful at it, but I digress. What was uncommon is the story that followed. She's been seeing a guy for a little over a month and after dinner, they decided to go back to his place. Immediately after escorting her in, he had to go to the bathroom, leaving her in his living room to check out the photos, peep the feng shui and go through his DVD collection.

They started watching a movie, sipped some wine and then she excused herself to the bathroom. After handling her business, something in her head told her to open his medicine cabinet and following her Nancy Drew vibe she did. There were the requisite cold meds, heartburn relief, an asthma inhaler, dental floss and some other non-consequential stuff, because her eyes were drawn immediately to the three prescription pill bottles on the third shelf.

By now I was shocked that she followed her impulse and opened the cabinet, but what she did next totally amazed me, she Googled the prescriptions! Turns out dude had prescriptions for ADHD, nausea and erectile dysfunction. That means he has a hard time focusing, keeping things down and getting things up. By now, I'm completely dumbfounded and silent, but I was able to muster the question, "What did you do next?" Naturally she assumed he had gone into the bathroom to take a Viagra, so she told him it was getting late, she had to work in the morning and bounced on homeboy!

I was looking at the phone, shaking my head and asked what if his stomach was acting up from dinner or he had to make sure he was able to be still with you in his place? None of that mattered, she had made up her mind. We already know women believe they are super snoopers, but she definitely went too far. A man's place is his castle and by violating the sanctity of that castle, you have abused the trust he's placed in you, all because you're nosey as hell! You don't want a cat going into that little purple box you keep in your nightstand or counting how many EPT's you keep in your medicine cabinet, so don't invade a brother's privacy.

As I brushed my teeth this morning, I opened my medicine cabinet to see what women find when they go through it, because I know they do. She did it, so that means that you all do it! There's a ton of cold meds, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss sticks and then a couple of prescription bottles; vicodin, my sleeping pills and one of the scripts he had…for nausea!