Black Republicans


No one called Barack Obama a liar or threw shoes at him, but his health care reform battle raged on and he spent some time with Jay-Z and Beyonce. But for other prominent Black politicians it was a rough week, a week that probably left their constituents wondering why the hell they voted for that guy! If the past week in politics proved anything, it's that a politician is a politician, White, Black, doesn't matter.

Coke snorting, philandering, blind in one eye, can't see out of the other New York Governor David Patterson is hot water for lying about tickets to a World Series game. Of all the things to lie about, you lie about paying for tickets to the game? There's also an investigation into whether folks acting on his behalf in trying to get the bust-it baby of one of his top aides to recant her story in an alleged domestic abuse case. A brother can't catch a break. Bad enough he was thrown into New York's top seat because Eliot Spitzer was tricking, but as soon as he got the gig, his past was thrown onto the front page of the papers.

Just a few days earlier, he announced that he would not seek re-election and said they he never abused the power of his office. New Yorkers started calling for his resignation, Al Sharpton and his gang of righteous brothers and sisters got together at Sylvia's restaurant in Harlem to decide if they wanted to support the brother or join the lynch mob that called for his head. They were discussing the brother's future over catfish and collard greens?!? As if their word makes any difference, they decided they would back him through these last few months in office, but Andrew Cuomo is out for blood and after Patterson for using his position and then lying about acquiring tickets that amount to under $2,200. Seriously?

Long time congressman Charles Rangel was removed as chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, one of the most powerful committees in Congress. Rangel, like most politicians used his influence to wrangle trips to to the Carribean, had office space in a rent controlled apartment, failing to disclose income from a villa in the Dominican Republic and bartering a tax loophole in exchange for a $1million donation to the Charles Rangel Center at City College of New York. The calls for his resignation are out, but there wasn't a meeting at Sylvia's to decide his fate after 41 years in office.

Marion Barry, a perpetual abuser of power (and crack) used his position as chair of the Committee on Housing and Workforce Development to funnel some duckets to fund a project by a chick he used to get it on with. Just last year he was arrested for failing to pay taxes and stalking an ex-girlfriend. Let's not forget that he smoked crack while mayor, went to prison, got re-elected, smoked out again, become a councilman and continued with his shenanigans, this brother's got more lives than Robert Downey Jr.!

Kwame Kilpatrick, the former "Hip-Hop Mayor" of Detroit may soon be heading back to jail because he can't make payments on his $1 million fine for the obstruction case he was convicted of in '08 when the scandal broke about his text message boo loving. He said he could only spare $6 a month in payment, but moved into a million dollar home, huh? He missed a $79,000 payment in February the parole proceedings have begun, just seems like the case of another Nigga that can't pay his bills if you ask me. You can add all of this to the FBI's investigation that he was pilfering The D out of money as they try to hit him with a RICO case and the speculation about his involvement in the death of a stripper that may or may not have danced at a party at the official mansion of the mayor of Detroit.

Larry Langford, former mayor of Birmingham, Alabama was sentenced to 15years in jail for 60 counts of bribery totally nearly $235,000. Dude, what were you thinking? Prosecutors were going for the jugular, requesting no less than 24 years because the man never said sorry. Turns out he also owes $119,000 in back taxes. 15 years for a 63-year-old man is a bit harsh in my book. I guess probation was never an option as an example had to be made; they don't mess around Down South, sent his old ass to play Spades for the rest of his days.

After reviewing the state of Black politics, I figured I fit right in, so I'm officially announcing my candidacy for mayor of Trenton…everybody else is running! Mamas don't let your boys grow up to be politicians.

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