The Incredible Shrinking Man

By now you’ve seen the pictures circulating the internets with a frail, sickly 50 Cent and depending on the source of the pictures, you’ve learned that he lost nearly 60 pounds for an upcoming film role. Wow! This guy really throws himself into his work and seems to be taking this acting thing seriously, Nigga please! Dude is desperate; he’s becoming more irrelevant in hip-hop by the day, his last two albums flopped, no one is falling for his bully antics and when was the last time you saw a Nigga not named Tony Yayo rocking G-Unit clothing?

Apparently Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson penned a screenplay for a film called Things Fall Apart about a college football star (we’re supposed to believe the soon-to-be 35 50 is in college?) that’s stricken with leukemia (hence the weight loss) and shows how he deals with the disease and the loss of his dreams. This just keeps getting more and more asinine, have you ever listened to a 50 Cent song, dude can barely write a rhyme, now he’s writing movies? I guess the success of the classic songs and books he written is translating to him becoming an award-winning screenwriter.

What trips me out is that he’s prepared for this film like he’s going to be Oscar worthy, like he’s going to turn in a tour de force performance that’s going to turn heads and make him the “it” actor for years to come a la Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. He’s even gone as far as to get tattoos removed to make himself more appealing to audiences. Am I the only person to see Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and Righteous Kill and thinks that dude sucks as an actor? He is bad! Dude barely opens his mouth when he talks and speaks as if he has 320 teeth, but he starved himself to play a role in a straight-to-DVD movie, talk about dedication.

Or desperation, he’s a publicity whore, from the fabricated rap beefs to releasing these pictures, he needs people to talk about him. Like I said before, he has about 90 seconds left on his 15 minutes of fame and his music isn’t quite moving folks like it used to. He struck like a supernova in 2003 and fizzled like a candle in the wind by the time he challenged and lost a sales battle against Kanye West in 2007, and he’s limping towards the finish line on his career as he says he’s making an album inspired by European dance music. I’m glad that Vitamin Water deal made him so rich, because making dance music and acting are not going to keep the lights on in that Connecticut mansion he can’t seem to sell.

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