I'm starting to see how dating has become so difficult, it's not always about who you date or how you date, there are societal factors at work designed to drive a wedge between willing participants. One of those factors has been the impossibility of the great American movie night. It's bad enough that it costs $153 to go to the movies, but the forces of evil are in cahoots to make your movie-going experience a living hell!
Once you've finished moving money between accounts to afford catching the newest release, you have to find a time that works in your favor for a positive experience. It was all good 10, 11 years ago when you were younger, the 10pm show was nothing, you could do that standing on your head. But once you cross 30, work 60 hours a week, that's not an option. But neither is the 7:05 show, because you've sat in that Friday traffic, needed to let your feet breathe a second, decompress, and grab a bite to eat, so something that starts between 8 and 8:40 would be perfect.
But oh no, the 8pm movie is a thing of the past, seemingly doesn't exist anymore. I peered through movie times for 12 theaters last night and saw one film that started during the 8 o'clock hour and thought to myself, I'm getting too old for this sh*t! What's a sensible man and woman supposed to do? I don't always want to go to the movies at 10am, even though it's cheaper and I can get my money's worth by seeing two other flicks. That midevening time is perfect, because it's seemingly the most mature, quiet viewing audience.
If you're anything like me, you're goal when going to the movies is to see a good film (Tyler Perry productions excluded), hear it through, get popcorn and a blue raspberry icee and not have to get the usher to quiet a baby or even worse, your cousins! There it is, your cousins aka Niggas don't go to the movies during the 8 o'clock hour, it's too early. For whatever reason they could never be on time, maybe the line at Popeye's is too long or they're still throwing back shots of Hennessey, trying to decide if they want to bring the baby, mama is running late, or what hair matches with their outfit, but the midevening shows are usually free of your cousins.
Once the clock strikes 9, all bets are off! You're not going to see a movie, you're going to watch and listen to the performance of the patrons surrounding you. You get the folks answering their cell phones; people who need to go to the concession stand 45 minutes into the movie and then can't find their way back to their seat and shout out "Shaniqua"! Then there's the "amen corner" that's feeling the movie a little too much and that couple whose relationship has problems resembling the onscreen couple and she decides to tell him while you're trying to hear a turning point in the film. Who really wants to do that? So you end up back at the crib, nodding off at 9:30 watching "Love Jones", planning to catch that Saturday matinee…
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