Dedicated to the two-time losers…
I need to be completely honest with you right now; I’m tired of being the sounding board for your man troubles or issues with women. It seems like we’re going through this every few months these days and to be frank, I don’t have the energy to keep hearing you dance around the consistent source of your troubles. No, it’s not him, it’s not her, it’s you.
I know you don’t want to hear me right now, but you gotta listen. The one constant in all of your broken hearts is you. You haven’t changed a thing about yourself from relationship to relationship and you keep expecting an outcome that won’t happen, happiness. Maybe you’re moving too fast, maybe you don’t understand what love really is; maybe you’re trying to fill a void with someone, which you need to fill on your own first. You can’t keep expecting the next person you meet to automatically know what you need or how to love you, if you haven’t identified with those needs are for yourself and you can’t do that when you’re constantly in a relationship.
I Think You Love the Idea of Being in Love…
It seems like every year there’s a new guy that’s “the one”. I’m pretty sure they’re all nice guys, but to me, they’re all the same guy. They’re all these buff, pretty boys that seem to fit your idea of what it is you think you need in a man, but none of them have made you the priority that you’ve placed on them. However, there’s no alarm bells going off when he’s close to getting you naked or his toothbrush has found a home, you seem to come to the realization when he’s spending hours away, not returning calls or forgetting to bring eggs home.
So now he’s gone. Damn, when did you break up with the guy before him? More importantly, when did you give your heart time to heal and to assess what went wrong with that relationship? What about the guy before him and the one before him and what about the guy that you were going to marry, but you couldn’t love him wholly? It may be time to look at what worked with him and what it was about him that was so right, before you started making bad decisions. I love you, I want you to be happy, but I have no more space in my life for your misery…
Love Don’t Love Nobody…
You’re still trying to be what you think He wants you to be. Babygirl, we’re a few years past thirty and all of the “He’s” that you’ve been with have wanted you to be something so far from who You are. You keep compartmentalizing yourself, exhausting the possibilities of happiness because you’ve lost sight of who you are. I know you’re unhappy with who you’ve become, practically everyone around you is, that’s why when you look around…almost all of your old friends are gone.
We watched you play the chameleon, adapting to whatever it was the new guy was into, allowing him to swallow you up whole leaving pieces of the beautiful woman you were. You’ve cried, drank, swore off men, ran back three or five times, cried more, changed men to the same results and suffered some of the worst pain ever…alone. All the while you’ve tried to find a smile in outlandish purchases and living beyond your means, but still the frowns inside make their way out for all to see. It’s time to love you like I do and stop expecting love to love you the same…
Anything Worth Having You Work at Annually…
I don’t know what you want. I’m really not sure if you want to be loved or if you think that magic is going to happen and she’s gonna appear on the couch with you? What I can tell you though, is that you’ve got to get out into the world and breathe in the air, smile at some women, open your mouth and see what happens next. But before you get there, you gotta work on you, find your own happiness. You’ve been too up and down over the last few years and it makes it hard for me to love you, let alone a woman to be involved with you.
At some point you’re going to have to reevaluate what’s important in your life, what makes you smile and if having a woman in your life jives with any of that? If not, stick to that and stop inviting women into the world of hate that you reside in, it’s really unfair to put them in the position where they constantly question what they’re doing wrong when you’re not allowing the opportunity to be right. I’m glad that you’re taking this time to work on you, but are you really working or just watching the clock until quitting time…
I Wouldn’t Tell You Anything I Didn’t Believe or Do Myself…
You know me, you know how I got down, and then I didn’t. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide that I was unhappy, it had been years of self-destructive behavior that fueled quasi-happiness, that I had to unravel to find a place where I could be comfortable with a smile on my face. I want the same things for you; I’m not saying it’s easy or gonna happen quickly, but it’ll happen only when you’re willing to face the ugliness of yourself. I laugh with you and I’ll cry with you, but I won’t lie to you…anymore.
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