The World is Filled with Pimps & Hoes…We’ll Just Talk About Those I Know

Everyone's talking about the winners and losers in this LeBron James madness. Was he right to choose to play for the Miami Heat? Did he do Cleveland wrong? Is his legacy gonna be in tact? Was it really selfless for him, Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade to give up money in an attempt to create one of the greatest teams in NBA history? The hell with all of that, the real winners in this situation are the notorious Miami groupies! Thus, LeBron's longtime girlfriend and mother of his two sons Savannah has to be a loser and may be in for the fight of her life or she's gonna learn to throw drinks really well.

We're fresh off a season of "Basketball Wives" based in Miami where we've learned the treachery of the women who exist to land a pro athlete. The King's arrival on South Beach has probably spurred a mass exodus of little black dress, high heel wearing women from cities across the country in hopes of the come up. Seriously, there are hoochies after Eric Williams' ugly ass! Chris Bosh's sexy increased 300% since he signed Wednesday, so imagine what life will be like for one of the world's most famous faces and profitable athletes?

Poor Savannah, all of these years, two babies and no ring (maybe he'll marry you when he wins a ring). Now you have to uproot your life and settle amongst the sharks. Please believe they are circling, because there's fresh blood in the water. We've seen the effects of South Beach on the teenage love Dwayne Wade and ex-wife Siohvaughn once shared. Gabrielle Union upgraded her B-list existence by insinuating herself in their marriage and found herself courtside at the NBA All-Star Game, while Siohvaughn is now an ex and fighting a custody battle. She may want to holla at Shaunie O'Neal and see if she can get on the show with the other cast off chicks.

The real winners in all of this? The rest of LeBron's LRMR partners, Richard Paul, Maverick Carter and Randy Mims because of all of the residual groupies they're going to get by association. They've traveled the world with LeBron and may have been a deal breaker with one or more teams, but when they plant their feet on Ocean and Collins, it's going to be a whole new ballgame for them. Cleveland Cavaliers, loser. Miami Heat, winner. Richard, Mav and Randy, jackpot winners. LeBron, loser! Miami groupies, TBD. Savannah, the biggest loser!