Can’t Buy Love…But Happiness is For Sale!

Say it with me, $750 million! One mo gin, $750 million! That's the reported amount Elin Nordegren is allegedly receiving as part of the divorce settlement from the man formerly known as Tiger. That's a lot of scratch for just over five years of marriage. That's really a whole lot considering that she contributed absolutely nothing to the building of his billion dollar empire that she's walking away with about ¾ of. I know Tiger did his dirt, but damn, that's a high cost to pay. There was no $4 million ring to excuse away Tiger's creeping.

I suppose Elin put a price tag on the love she gave Eldridge over the course of their time together or at least that's the discounted price for her embarrassment, shame and pain. And oh yeah, the babies, I guess they are the beneficiaries of their daddy's fortune as well. Yeah right, this is about Elin, the kids were taken care of the moment there was a shift in her uterus. This is the moment she's been waiting for since she was first introduced to Tiger and with each child and subsequently each affair, her internal money machine made that familiar ATM sound.

Call me what you want, but if I was in Tiger's shoes, Elin wouldn't see a dime of that money. I'd either go on a Michael Jackson-like spending spree or an OJ Simpson like killing spree. I just don't believe in giving up what I've spent my entire life working for to someone that walked into my life long after my greatness and earning potential was discovered. I blame Tiger, I blame his daddy, I blame his mama, I blame it on the boogie, for not having an iron clad pre-nup that gave her some pocket change to go back wherever the hell she's from.

Allegedly, Elin can never speak publicly about Tiger's indiscretions and gets primary custody of their two children. But, not only does Tiger have to cough up the gross national product of a third world country, he has to hide his bust it babies when the kids come around. One of the reported stipulations is that Tiger not have any woman he's not married to around the children. I really don't understand that one, because if I'm getting married, I need to see how this woman interacts with my children. But when 13 White women say you've done the nasty with them, I guess you gotta agree with whatever's on the table.

While his personal life came tumbling down, his professional life isn't doing much better. Tiger has been pretty normal in the tournaments he's played since returning to the PGA tour in the spring. Maybe once the divorced is finalized, he'll return to form, if not, golf is in trouble. I don't know who the PGA commissioner is, but he may want to sequester Tiger at the Playboy mansion for a week or two…

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