The Thrill of Victory...and then...the Agony by Black Diamond

I remember growing up as a little girl and dreaming of all the wonderful things that I would accomplish with my life once I got “grown” and “out on my own.” Of course, all of the primary basics were in place in my dreams: graduating from high school, going to college, and getting a job.  I pretty much did not have a problem achieving all of my primary dreams and (patting myself on the back) I accelerated and overachieved in all three areas. Thus, the exciting life pheromones of Victory were constantly being released all around me. Achievement tends to make ones head big….and my head, at times, has been as big as Charlie Browns.
But then, “LIFE” begins to happen…..yea, you know…”Life.” When you look around and you are constantly being invited to engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, and housewarmings for friends who you have met along your life journey in high school, college, and at your jobs who seem to have met “the last good guy on the face of the planet.”  “Life,” when you go from sitting in the pew watching wedding ceremonies take place, to actually walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid. Or…or...sitting at a baby shower and hearing a grandiose announcement that you are going to be a godmother.  Or even, helping your best girl in the kitchen at her housewarming while her husband grills it up in their new backyard.

Yea, “Life”….you look up and it’s started to happen all around you.  And then….you….pause.  And you realize that at some point in your life journey you came to a fork in the road and you didn’t necessarily go in the wrong direction…you just decided to go in a different direction. Your mind begins to play tricks on you and thoughts of being alone and lonely (Oh, the Agony!)  begin to creep in your head. You begin to wonder if you will ever find “that guy,” or if you already did find him but in your immaturity let him slip away. You begin to wonder if you will end up in your Golden Years…still seeking for your Knight. No? You haven’t had these thoughts? Oh. Ok. It’s just me? (Ok, Sis, it’s cool.) 
Well, albeit late in the “Life” game, I find it exciting and thrilling to be actively dating from month to month. “Dating” is the operative word because in my search for achievement of my secondary dreams of companionship, emotional bonding, and intimate relations I’ve come across some of THEE most colorful characters. I’m certain my King is out there…may take him a minute to find me (clearly, lol), but he will. 

Black Diamond is a poet, social worker, and friend hailing from The Mighty Midwest, follow her on @DiamondSutra17

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