It's Cool, I Got It (I Love it When She Says)

After reading my “Inevitable Truths: Lady Liberty” by my baby sister, I started wondering just when is it cool for a woman to pay for a date. Just as she learned at the feet of a very special group of women, some of you picked up bad habits from vultures. There are a few of you with what you say are old school beliefs that a man should always pick up the tab, when the reality is that times have changed and we’re on equal footing, so you can dig in your pocket a time or two. I can hear all of you independent women screaming “I can pay for my own damn food!”, I see you boo boo, but the moment you have a guy willing to pick up the check and tip…
Be clear, I’m talking about partnerships here, showing a man that you’re in it just as much as he is and lightening the load a little. You guys have a strange way of weighing a brother down at times. Like those Saturday morning texts that say “Let’s hang out today” and he suggests catching a matinee and getting Rita’s afterwards, but you’re so busy that you can’t kick it until later. In manspeak he was saying that he just paid all of his bills and has $92.62 to last until payday, but that was lost in translation, because getting your eyebrows done was more important than saving this brother a few dollars. So now he spends $60 on dinner and a movie and can’t work for two days because he can’t put gas in his car until his direct deposit goes through. God forbid a brother use a coupon on a date...

Maybe I’m exaggerating, but somewhere during the courtship you have to show a willingness to kick in on the festivities, give a brother a break. There’s nothing better than when a man knows things are gonna be tight after he pays for dinner, the show or whatever and the woman stops his motion and says, “It’s cool, I got it”. It’s one of those moments when you realize that she can be introduced to your boys, because she’s a keeper.

I know far too many women out there trying to get free meals and drinks or see Trey Songz for on the house, not realizing that a brother may be risking his rent money to show you a good time and they are completely oblivious to his plight. Then they wonder why their dating experiences were so short-lived. It might be because you didn’t appeal to the part of him that needed to know that you had his back, because men need to know that you will hold us down when we have reached the point when keeping our heads above water has us feeling like James Evans Sr.

Not to say there aren’t women who commit themselves financially to their dating, but far too many of you leave a brother over extending himself, living without lights just so you can see Jill Scott and eat well. What I’m asking you to do is add a little balance to your dating, let your debit card work on one or two outings; it may go a long way. So, if you’re willing to contribute to our outings and don’t look at me like Captain Save’em, you may be the one to wear my last name.

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