It Is What It A Brown Girl

Since I've been out of the dating scene for nearly 10 years, my opinion on dating is strictly from observation... and thankfully so. I certainly commend the diligent 'daters' for continuing to keep their hope of finding love alive, because based on what I see, the pool is the frighteningly shallow.

Aside from the resources being extremely limited, the competition is fierce. We constantly hear popular radio personalities recite 'hoes be winning,' and while its entertaining and comical, there's a sad truth to it. The nice girls are finishing last.

We live in a society where sex tapes and stripper poles make you desirable a la Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose. The brothers expect model chick looks with video vixen, down for whatever attitudes; and while some sisters fit the profile, the rest are left on the shelf because they aren't willing to sacrifice their self worth for any man, much less a date.

Since there are so many women willing to do whatever, with and for whomever, that's the expectation for all women. As adults, our choices, and mistakes are our own to make. The problem, however, is when you decide that you want different results from the same scenarios. When you think that the same brother who 'smashes random chicks,' is willing or is going to change for YOU. You think he just hasn't met the right girl yet or that your bending over backwards and accepting disrespect means that you're down for him. What I've learned, is that people, namely men, don't change overnight. If he is an ass today, he was an ass yesterday.

And our poor brothers are confused because you're sending mixed signals. You firmly plant your feet, hands on hips, chanting you're not a hoe. Yet, your 'dates' with said brother only take place inside of multiple motel rooms and your communication only consists of late night sexts and brief phone calls, planning your next rendezvous. Now, I'm not calling you a hoe, I'm merely pointing out that your actions have all the symptoms and the makings of one. So please excuse that brother for mistaking you for what you claim not to be, when you do what it is that they do.

What I want to know is when will you think it's time to raise your standards? When will you stop accepting mediocrity and realize that the hand you're dealt is the hand you continue to accept and play? Until you finally accept that your behavior plays a major part in how you're treated by others, the bar will remain to be low and the cycle will continue. I say all this to say, changing your pattern may change your dating life. #imjustsaying

About A Brown Girl
I don't have the mind of the typical woman. Life has taught me to see things from all sides. You were thinking it, I just have the balls to say it. Take a journey to The Recesses of My Mind and follow me on Twitter (@cocomecocoa).

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