From V-Day to D-Day

I used to love Valentine’s Day. Sue me.

It was one of the holidays to look forward to like Christmas and Halloween. Sure all three have to do with ‘getting stuff’. I’ll admit it, I looked forward to going to school and counting how many Valentines I received by the end of the day. I miss sitting at the dining room table with a bag of Valentines cards and candy, making them out to my best friends and crushes. It was so innocent. It was pure. I like you, here. I like you, here. You can’t honestly tell me that not one of you looked forward to Valentine’s Day back then. Well, unless you were that one kid who never got any Valentines….. in which case, this post is not to you. We understand why you’re so bitter.

As for the rest of you, you kill me. What happened? When did you all become so jaded? I can’t express to you how much I hate the weeks prior to any holiday. All the closeted cynics who insist on being contrarian decide to make themselves known. “Don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. The pilgrims!” but then go eat some turkey and stuffing. “Don’t celebrate Christmas! It’s not about Jesus anymore!” but then go open some presents. “Don’t celebrate what the f**k ever” and then go participate in the aspect of the holiday they don’t have beef with. Get out of here with that. If you’re against them be against them all the way. Not just in words but in actions, too. And please, for the love God, be against them for your own reasons. Not because we’re not supposed to celebrate these commercial holidays. WE LIVE IN A COMMERCIAL COUNTRY! Everything is commercialized and exploited.

Why are you so against Valentine’s Day? Besides it being “commercial”, what real reason do you have to dislike it? What real reason do you have for raining on everyone else’s parade? I can’t understand it. And if I hear yet another ADULT say it’s a man-created holiday, I’m going to scream. Right then and right there. Please tell me if man hasn’t created the holiday, how in the hell are we supposed to have it? Is it supposed to be passed down from aliens? Is Jesus supposed to send us all a mass tweet notifying us of a new holiday? What holiday isn’t created by man?

Some of you are so desperate to seem like an intellectual, to seem conscious. I’m sorry to tell you, bashing holidays isn’t helping your case. Year after year, more and more people are hopping on these B.S. anti-holiday tirades. It was original when people actually were against these holidays for actual reasons. I was going to share some of the history about Valentine’s Day, but I realized that I don’t care and most of y’all clearly don’t either.

Why must everything be such an ordeal? Some of you guys make it seem like it’s blasphemous to celebrate any holiday. But, why? Where is it written that a holiday isn’t to be commercialized, created by man, and not about Jesus? I never learned that. Merriam Webster doesn’t know of these rules either.

My skin crawls when I hear someone say, “Well, if he loves you, he doesn’t need to show you because the calendar says February 14.” What kind of bitter shit is that? If that’s the case, then it also stands to reason that your friends and family don’t care for you either if they celebrate you on your birthday, no? Your husband doesn’t love you if he celebrates your anniversary. Does any of that make sense? No? Exactly.

Why can’t it just be a nice gesture to celebrate it a little extra on V-Day? If you think your significant other doesn’t truly care about you because s/he wants to dote on you on Valentine’s Day…….What the hell? You ungrateful bastard. There are people in empty relationships that never get doted on. There are people who have never been in a relationship to be doted on. Why not just appreciate the gesture? Why not be thankful to be with someone who wants to do these things for you?

Sure the cliché says that we should love our significant other on the other 364 days of the year as well as Valentine’s Day. Of course. But the reality is we have lives, jobs and responsibilities. We can’t spend every day up under each other and gazing in each other’s eyes. We can’t go out to eat every night. We can’t splurge on our relationship every night. So why not have a designated point in time where no matter what, we are going to celebrate our love? I don’t see the harm in that.

I can understand how Valentine’s Day can suck if you’re single. Going out and seeing a bunch of couple madly in love or madly in lust or just out so they can have Valentine’s sex. I know how that is. It’s annoying. It reminds you of how you hate being single. I get where that bitterness derives from. Even still, that’s not an excuse to sit around and talk shit about everyone else that is in a relationship or has a Valentine.

I get that some people just aren’t into holidays. I get that some of you guys are just bitter. I get that some of you are still trying to figure out what a “contrarian” is. I get it.

Life isn’t that serious. It is entirely too short to over-analyze everything. There isn’t anything about Valentine’s Day, as it stands today, that warrants such hate and bashing. The diamonds that are often associated with it? Sure. The kids in the sweatshops making the whatever for whomever? Maybe. The poor chocolate farmer not getting paid justly for this surge in business? A reach, but sure. But the holiday itself? No. People celebrating their love? No. People using it as an excuse to ask out that person they had their eye on? No. Get a grip. Take that energy and apply it to something that needs it.

I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. I just don’t place the importance of my relationship upon the day. If we stay home and watch movies, cool. If we get dressed up and go eat, cool. If we go away, good. All that matters is that I’m with my partner. If I’m single, and I have no date- I will live. If I’m single and I have some dates, cool. It’s just a day, it’s meant to be fun. I don’t get the headaches and heartaches some of you guys inflict upon yourselves. I remember when it was so simple. Grab a pile of red and pink construction paper, some scissors, glue and glitter, and head for the table. Cut out little hearts. Write little notes. Go to school carrying my Valentine’s and candy in a Pathmark bag. Why can’t it still be about that? Where did the innocence go? Why is it so serious? Lighten up.

If you have someone you love, celebrate each other. If you have someone you like, get to know each other. If you’re by yourself, it’s okay!

Here…If no one else gives you one, this is for YOU:

About ByePoleHer
Aggressive, abrasive, but always completely transparent, ByePoleHer is that little voice inside your head that you ignore. Be shocked on Twitter (@byepoleher) and go inside her mind at

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