Over two years ago, I sent an e-mail with the subject "First the Fat Boys Break Up…" that discussed a couple of high-profile divorces and breakups. Also, there was a link to an article from the Washington Post in which a group of young African-American students said marriage was for white people. Well, it seems as if a few celebrities weren't paying attention to that article and decided to go on and jump the broom anyway. So, with the recent celebrity marriages (Jay-Z and Beyonce, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey), hookups (Chris Brown & Rihanna), and thug matrimony (Papoose and Remy Ma are rumored to be getting married today…on Rikers Island!), I figured what better time than now to revisit the discussion on Black Love.
Celebrity marriages usually seem like publicity stunts, spur of the moment and short lived, but in an age where children believe marriage is for white folks it is essential that celebrity marriages work, at least for the sake of the babies. Coming up, we had Heathcliff and Clair Hanks-Huxtable as an example of love. We followed the courtship of Dwayne Wayne and Whitley Gilbert, witnessed the antics of Martin Payne and Gina Waters and watched with anticipation as Jesse Hubbard and Angie Baxter led out their Soap Opera love affair on "All My Children". However, poor Black Folks haven't really had luck with love on TV since Florida Evans said "Damn, Damn, Damn!" Turn on the tube now and you see Black Love representations in the form on "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York". Not to mention, the songs and videos with tales of making love in the club, making it rain with dollar bills or champagne, half butt-naked women, and nearly anonymous hookups. The thought of monogamy and love as being sacred almost seems lost in the eyes of the mainstream and a fantasy to those in quest of love.
I'm an advocate of mentoring, I think these new couples need to get with a couple that has gotten it right for an extended time. No, I'm not talking about Will & Jada, true they've been married for 11 years, and it seems like they've gotten it right. However, let's pick the brains of a couple that has been together for what seems like ever, Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson. They have been married for nearly 40 years, there has to be some secrets to their happiness besides Nick borrowing Val's eyeliner! How about talking to Ruby Dee, find out how her and Ossie Davis made it through the Jim Crow era, the Civil Rights Movement, the Black Power Struggle, Reganomics, the Crack Era and the new Millennium together. Well, apart from that whole open marriage thing. Just start a conversation, not saying mirror everything that someone else is doing, but find out what has worked for them and open the dialogue of what works for you. Somebody has to lead the way, divorce rates are skyrocketing, gay and lesbian marriage movements are losing steam, marriage is for white folks, I guess there ain't
no love in the heart of the City!
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