Stranger Than Fiction

Stranger Than Fiction

I know, I promised to be more consistent, but I took a few days to catch up on some much needed rest. I got it in over the MLK Holiday Weekend, some of the best sleep I had in years. But with rest comes penalty. I take my eyes off of the world for a few days and what happens? “Pants on the Ground” becomes a national phenomenon, proving my theory that given the right vehicle, anyone can become a star. Even Brett Favre was singing in the locker room after the Vikings embarrassed the Cowboys Sunday. I even caught that Old Negro Spiritual on ‘The View’ doing the song and his silly choreography. Wonder why the light-skinned guy with no Negro dialect is called the light-skinned with no Negro dialect? YouTube that silliness and you’ll find that answer, I refuse to post that horrendous nonsense.
In yet another mea culpa for his public image, Tiger Woods has reportedly checked into sex rehab in Mississippi, I really can’t make these things up. Wait, Mississippi? Who goes to Mississippi for help on anything besides doctoral work on the Ku Klux Klan? I understand trying to save your image marriage, but sex rehab Tiger? We’re supposed to believe that you have an addiction aside from being a powerful man with resources nearly as unlimited as your insatiable appetite for white women? If Tiger really wanted to do this correctly, he would’ve checked into the Pasadena Recovery Center and been a patient on the next season of ‘Celebrity Rehab’ with Dr. Drew. Now, I would’ve gone out and gotten a DVR box to watch that!

The most racist show ever is back, ‘24’ had a two-night premiere and Jack Bauer is back reinforcing the belief that the Middle East is the axis of evil…alone! Well, I guess they’re grouping the Russians in this time around. Either way, I was prepared for a great episode of ‘House’ only to see that the following program happened between 6:00pm and 7:00pm.

The crisis in Haiti is taking a turn towards chaos as aid is slow in distribution to those in need. Not only that, a strong aftershock registering 6.1 hit this morning. Click on the news and you’ll see Haitians fighting over water and other supplies, while bypassing store full of goods, because of evil spirits. Uhhh, not sure how much worse is can get, I’ll take the curse that comes along with grabbing that rice while the bureaucracy gets their thing together. Keep in mind, it took five days to get water to New Orleans and you guys weren’t that high on the depth chart to begin with…

Another chance for you to help arrives this Friday evening all over your television menu as Wyclef Jean and George Clooney team up with the rich folks who give an F to solicit your funds support. Speaking of Wyclef…never mind, continue to support his Yele Foundation, the Red Cross still has millions to account for from Hurricane Katrina.

I had a dream last night that Bill Clinton will become imperial ruler of Haiti, stranger things have happened…