The Summer Rules Vol.1
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Summer Rules
Throw those Chinese slippers out, don't want to see them this summer, gotta go, they had their run! It's 2008, they weren't really a good look in '04 really not a good look now!
Fellas, I strongly object to men having their feet on display, but if you insist on wearing sandals or flip-flops, clip your toenails!
Everyone moisturize your heels please!
If you were the Spring jump-off, that doesn't automatically make you the Summer bust-it baby! Your "friend" may have someone else in mind to kick it with at the Central Park Summerstage or the Boardwalk in AC.
Where's the vacation spot this year? Punta Cana? Negril? Aruba? South Beach? Where is it? With the escalating gas prices and floundering economy, let me find out the Jersey Shore is the place to be this year?
Just because it's 96 degrees in the shade (insert Keith Murray lyric here), that is not a good enough reason to take Tuesday off, conserve your days...
I shouldn't have to do this, but ladies keep a fresh shave, don't want to see the stubble this summer!
To all of you who work in the school system, just because you have the Summer off, don't rub it in! We know you're sleeping late, watching "The View" while we're working, but keep it to yourself.
Keep that hate out of your blood! Just because you blew your Income Tax return and your Economic Stimulus check, don't be mad at those people who've been able to save some change and do some thangs this year.
Hydrate! Keep some water, Vitamin Water, Gatorade, some fluids pumped into you. Especially if you're gonna be taking shots of Patron at night! Last thing I want to hear or see is a nigga passed out at the bar!
For those of you who ship your kids Down South for the Summer, please remember that you are a parent and did not just complete your freshman year in college. Go easy!
I know some of us are eagerly anticipating some of the blockbuster films of the season (Hancock, The Dark Knight, etc..), but how about we do a little something different this year, read a book or two...
Keep some "red" kool-aid in the fridge! The best Summer drink ever!
Fellas I know from time to time when you're out and about, your pockets aren't enough, but there is never any reason to carry a manpurse! I don't care if Gucci or Louie Vutton makes it. I wouldn't care if an Egyptian Pharaoh had it made from his treasure, that's just gay! If you got that much to carry, get a Jansport!
No more midnight cruises please! If you don't call Carnival and get on a real cruise...
Is taking a day off to go to Six Flags good use of a Tuesday? Hell yeah! Especially with discount coupons!
Fathers, those little fanny packs are real 80's too!
I know many of you fools worked out like Barry Bonds all year to get your body right for the Summer, so you could look good in your two-piece or shirtless on the beach. Notice I said "on the beach", I don't want to see you walking down the street like that!
I think we're too old for Greekfest right?
The most important rule of the Summer...Please do not show up to any cookouts carrying food toting material! That's just trifling, tacky and downright Niggerish! If you don't get some Luminum Foil (yeah I said "luminum", you know Black folks too lazy to pronounce all the syllables!) and wrap that chicken up! You rolling around with tupperware in your car!
As for me, you'll catch me somewhere where the water is light blue with my stomach all out, Mojito in hand, Shell Toes on my feet (no sandals)! Enjoy your Summer!
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