Lie to Me

Lie to Me

Men lie. Women lie. Numbers do too! The reasons we lie vary, as do the magnitude of each lie, but from little white lies to boldfaced lies, they’re all lies! I know some folks that lie like it’s their native language, from their Facebook status to their walk, just a lie. I know you know what I’m talking about, someone is probably lying to you right now!

Here the 10 most told lies…

10. That dress does not make you look fat – Many a man has fallen victim to this trick question. You can’t go right with this one, either you tell the truth and let your lady know that she looks a bit too thick in her new dress or you lie and tell her no. The problem is that she already knows the dress is hugging her tighter than your auntie at a funeral, she was just testing you and how well you lie determines if you pass or fail.

9. I have to work late – This is the beginning of the end. He never had to work late before, now all of a sudden he’s putting in extra hours on the regular. You’ve been together for three years and he’s in the car by 5:01, now he’s coming in at 8:15…he’s working alright.

8. This never happened before – Need I say more? Fellas need to stop telling this one, it’s happened before, your first time, second, eighth and 137^th too.

7. Girl, your baby is so cute! – I struggle with this one, so I just avoid babies, because I’ll be the nigga to tell you that your baby is ugly!

6. You know I don’t be doing this – On Tuesdays…but the rest of the week, this is how I get down.

5. You are working that dress – Your girl lies to you all of the time. She can’t stand your Rainbow taste, but she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings…plus you make her look good.

4. I swear I don’t know that girl! – He yells that with sweat beading up on his forehead, but her picture comes up when the phone rings and “Sexual Healing” is her ringtone. Trust me, he knows her…biblically.

3. (Insert Tyler Perry movie) was good as hell – All of yall need to stop telling this lie. It’s just impossible.

2. I’m from the hood! – It’s always some cat from the ‘burbs with two parents and Catholic school education proclaiming to be from the hood, knowing damn well he’ll piss his pants if he ever planted his feet on any Martin Luther!

1. It’s your baby! – She’ll take you on Maury, tell your mama, the child support people and anyone who’ll listen that it’s your baby. She’ll go as far as saying yall have the same eyelashes, but the moment you mention a DNA test, know you’re not man enough for responsibility. She’s lying too and will carry that lie for 18 years or long enough to get you in arrears, mess up your license or have some little kid that looks nothing like your entire family on your insurance.