• Fellas, if you’re 30 and still rapping for free...you’re not a rapper!
• Don’t be mad, UPS is hiring!
• If you have 30 self-portraits in the bathroom mirror on your Facebook page, I know there are naked pictures of you floating around.
• Jennifer Beals is more racially ambiguous that Michael Jackson! She’s been a Mulatto a few times, straight up White at others, Creole in Devil in a Blue Dress, but I don’t recall her ever just being Black.
• If you found out your favorite celebrity was functionally illiterate, how would you feel?
• Scratch that, folks are going to buy Tyrese’s book anyway!
• Oprah appeared in one of my dreams...I’m laying off the Vicodin!
• By show of hands, who’s going to see Madea’s Big Happy Family?
• Please remove the word “mines” from your vocabulary.
• Remember how hyped you were for a Mike Tyson fight...and it only last like two minutes, but you didn’t care?
• Well, if you’re saying “mines”, your vocabulary is probably limited, so nevermind.
• Continue on is redundant...
• Umm babygirl, you’re damn near 40, what’s up with your new nickname? I am not calling you Licorice or whatever silliness you come up with for yourself.
• Black men need hair on their face.
• Why is “American Idol” still on?
• Fellas, stop lying to your baby mothers, just tell her you’re not gonna marry her.
• Baby mothers, stop lying to yourselves, he’s already told you he’s not gonna marry you. He introduces you as his baby mother for crying out loud!
• Yes, that includes Barack Obama...I still don’t trust that nigga!
• Is NeNe Leakes really a man? Her hands are bigger than LeBron James’!
• Speaking of man looking women, am I wrong for hoping Wendy Williams falls on “Dancing with the Stars” before she gets voted off Tuesday night?
• How did Lovita Alizè Jenkins-Robinson get a book deal?
• Did you really expect “The Game” to be good?
• Is Charlie Sheen still winning?
• It really ain’t cool being the old nigga in the club...
• Was there ever any doubt that Bobbi Kristina was gonna be messed up?
• After all, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are still her parents.
• And yes, Bobby Brown was the King of R&B!
• Every time someone says “no disrespect”, they say something disrespectful.
• When are you moving out of your mother’s house?
• We need to bring the term “Word is bond” back!
• Shoutout to the dark liquor drinkers...you’re always one shot away from having a fight!
• Magic Johnson is on TV selling everything but those HIV meds he’s been taking for the last 20 years.
• Can you explain to me what’s going on in Libya?
• No? How about Bahrain?
• You may need to change the channel on your TV.
• Do you know where your children are right now?
• I know our states are fighting some extreme financial difficulties, but can someone please find money in the budget to fix these damn potholes!
• Have you subscribed to The World According to Teef?
3 comments
I love this!
And let the choir say amen!
No disrespect to the blogger but the comment about Jennifer being more racially ambiguous than Michael is the funniest thing I've read today. As a biracial person, a little offensive too.
Michael = Choice or Vitiligo
Jennifer = Genes
She can't play straight up black because people don't accept it.
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