What I Talk About When I Talk About Love: Is That Any Way for a Man to Carry on?

Based on somebody's true story...

I called you five minutes after I dropped you off. You probably still had your shoes in your hand as the phone was ringing, but I needed to hear your voice on my way home. Sure, it was our first date, but I thought I was in love. I mean, it had to be love right, couldn’t be anything else. I would find out months later that it was foolishness, you didn’t deserve any love that I had to give to you, and I should’ve hung up that phone before you answered. For three months you had me eating out of your hand, at your beck and call, spending money I didn’t have…is that any kind of way for a man to be carrying on?

You were my night and my day, my reason and my excuse; I built my world around you. I sent you flowers every Wednesday, because that was the day we met, called you to see how your day was going, didn’t make a move without checking with you first. But you, you were cool on me, you only called or texted when the mood struck you, usually that was around 10:30 at night or 6 if you were hungry. There would be the occasional “good morning” text or call in the afternoon, but for the most part, I was extending myself to your retreating arms.

My boys tried to tell me to slow down, but I tried to tell them they didn’t know what they were talking about and left them hanging many nights to spend with you. I recall those nights with you in my arms and I still smile, because the warmth of your kisses touched me deeply, they changed my mind, changed my life. The way you kissed me was unlike I had ever been kissed before, there was an experience of unknown passion in those kisses; the passion that got you the keys to my car.

I had to go away for a few days and figured it would be cool for you to drive my car while I was away and yours was in the shop. So imagine the shock that ran through me when my boy called to tell me he’d seen you with some dude riding shotgun in my car?!? Somehow I kept my composure, played it cool, but inside I was filled with rage. Over the next few days I gave you plenty of opportunities to tell me that your brother needed a ride or your cousin’s car broke down, even your co-worker was stranded at the office, but none of those explanations came.

I was blinded by your beauty, dumbfounded by your booty, even a damn fool for what I mistook for love, but I ain’t ever been nobody’s sucker! You had no clue how loyal my boys were, they are so loyal that they followed you for a day. Yup, from your house to your hair appointment, lunch with your girls to Macy’s, back to your house. They even followed you when you picked that nigga up and went to Applebee’s. But you didn’t know that I was being picked up from the airport and on my way to Applebee’s too.

You know my first impulse was to run up on you and do a Rambo

Instead I chilled, left him in the parking lot and rode off with you, ignoring your lies, disregarding your pleas. I had so much running through my mind, anger fueled by passion, love overshadowed by humiliation, so I did the only thing that made sense about ten minutes up the road…I put your ass out of my car on the highway! I was a fool for you, too long…

Leave a respond