You Won’t Be Around Next Year…I hope!

You Won’t Be Around Next Year…I hope!

Each year there are stories that dominate the headlines, personalities that hog the spotlight and trends that become just sickening. On rare occasions, 15 minutes of fame becomes 20 and next thing you know, we're stuck looking at Flavor Flav getting busy four years in a row! With the help of my think tank, I was able to compile a list of 20 stories, personalities and trends that we really don't want to see, hear or read about in 20-10.

There were a couple of things that fell just short of the list like using a hot air balloon as a hoax to get a Reality TV show, a stint in jail is going to keep Lil' Wayne on ice for a moment, snitching via tell-all books, aging divas (Janet, Whitney & J-Lo, please sit down), freaky politicians, fast food restaurants taking shots at McDonald's (10 billion served idiots!), rappers taking shots at Jay-Z (leave it alone, don't throw rocks at the throne), Black conservatives and of course Oprah. In the words of Craig Mack (who ironically was talking about himself), "You won't be around next year!" I hope…

The Top 20:

20. Tiger Woods Scandal – I've never seen someone fall from grace so fast and so furious. This is only at #20 because it didn't go down until the end of the year, so it is sure to continue to pick up steam as more of his bust-it babies come forth, if a divorce kicks in, rumors of sex addiction get out and if he ever returns to the golf course. The athlete of the decade nearly beat out George W. Bush for the ass of the century. Two words Tiger…lock code!

19. Swag – I know the attitude isn't going anywhere, because it's existed since the slave ships, I'm just tired of the term "swag" being in every song, on SportsCenter and on the nightly news to describe the president. Let's move on and coin a new word, phrase or just leave it the hell alone!

18.The Kardashians – I'm talking about Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike! How low have we sunk when an entire family devoid of talent gets a TV show? I just don't get it, but apparently Reggie Bush and Lamar Odom do…

17. Mohawks – How long are we gonna do this? Diddy ran that marathon how many years ago? Why are your sons and boyfriends still walking around with Mohawks? Let's just bring back the hi-top fade and three cuts in the eyebrows and get it over with.

16. Auto-tune – Usually when Jay-Z kills something, it dies immediately (when was the last time you wore a throwback jersey and wasn't attending a game?)! But this auto-tune is really fighting to stay alive. I'll admit, we've gotten some good music out of it, T-Pain has made millions using it, Kanye West made a great album with it, but when Lil' Wayne, Mary J. Blige and every former drug dealer from Harlem is using it, it is beyond trend, it becomes hustle that we can knock. But as long as Drake is using it here and there, I guess it'll be on life-support for some time…R.I.P. Roger Troutman!

15. Crack – Seriously people, it's been 25 years! We've watched crack destroy families and cities. We've seen Marion Barry get high on TV, DMX fall off and we all heard Whitney Houston's PSA, "Crack is wack!" I really don't want to see any crackheads in 2010!

14. Beyonce – Everyone knows that I'm a huge Beyonce fan, but it is time to sit down for a year or two, have a baby or something. Let the fans miss you for a second. I don't mean go make a bad movie or two, I'm talking sit your ass down and return at the end of 2011 with a soulful album, especially since your mama and daddy are about to get divorced.

13. H1N1 – It is amazing what 24-hour news coverage and a few dead folks can do…How H1N1 aka "swine flu" became a pandemic and panic is beyond me, especially when more people still have died from the traditional strain of influenza. But, all of the hand sanitizer manufactures are surly glad for the reemergence!

12. Madea – I've resigned to the fact that you Negroes aren't going to allow Tyler Perry's redundancy to fade to black, but it is time for Madea to be retired! How can you take his "movies" or him seriously when this character continues to exist or peek through while he's playing another character?

11. Sarah Palin – I thought we got rid of her on November 4^, 2008? Not only did she make a resurgence this year, but she ended up on Oprah's couch! This trailer trash has some staying power; I just hope the Republicans aren't desperate enough to trot her moose-killing ass out in 2012.

10. Diddy TV Shows – I know you told us that you won't stop, I know you told us that you won't stop, but dude…stop! Don't make another band, hire another assistant or preserve your sexy with Proactiv. You're seriously becoming a sideshow and more irrelevant in music by the minute (Dirty Money?), but Sean John is looking pretty good, stick to fashion.

9. Gucci Mane – I hardly ever understand what this mofo is saying! He raps like he has a bag of marbles in his mouth and a 3^rd grade education. He's the leader of the new school of horrible rappers and the #1 reason we still need Jay-Z and Nas. The sad thing is that people seem to dig him and that could be the most depressing reflection of Black America.

8. Octomom/Jon & Kate Plus 8 – Had Black folks known that having a lot of kids would get them free shit or a television show, so many families on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. would've come up like George & Weezy, at least Ol' Dirty Bastard would've had an additional revenue stream. The decadence of American pop culture has never been more evident than through the ascendance of these two sad cases. The Octomom seriously needs to counseling and not from Dr. Phil and aren't Jon & Kate getting a divorce? It's really sad when parents exploit their children for their own personal gain…

7. Jermaine Jackson – Damn you Michael! Not only has your death left a void in the world of entertainment and philanthropy, but it has caused Jermaine "Slick" Jackson to be on TV every week and at every award show! I would like to know what type of pomade Jermaine uses to grease his hair and face, so I can invest and come up. I am not sure how Jermaine became the Jackson family rep, but after "Let's Get Serious" we seriously never had to see him again.

6. TV Talent Shows – When was the last time you heard Ruben Studdard on the radio or saw one of the America's next Top Model winners on a high-fashion runway? The era of the television talent show has to end…now! American Idol created an avenue we really didn't need to drive down. America's Best Dance Team? Seriously? Lazy minds have created bad TV and I'm paying for it every night at 8/7 central!

5. The Recession – America's financially f@#$%&, I get it, but for poor people there's been a recession since before Abe. I'm not insensitive to those that have been honestly affected in these troublesome times, but when I hear someone that doesn't take stock in themselves, let alone have money invested, talking about the recession, I throw up in my mouth a little bit! Hopefully, the smartest guys in the room will be able to right the ship and we can all get back to overspending as usual.

4. Chris Brown/Rihanna – Tina Turner went a long with after a few ass-kickings, but why are folks trying to end Chris Brown's career? Let's face the facts, they're both young and for the two of them to have to live their lives in the media while trying to maintain some semblance of reality is hard, especially when you're talking about love. To tell the truth, I really want Rihanna's non-singing ass to go away, Chris Brown is a dancing fool!

3. Male Skinny Jeans – 'Nuff said! I've never gotten this, don't wish to and frankly I can't wear skinny jeans because my wallet won't fit! Fellas, let's put some slack back in our slacks.

2. Reality Television – This is the most aggravating thing in the world to me. What started years ago with 'The Real World' has become a phenomenon that has spawned the likes of New York, Sharee, Midget Mac, Frankie & Neffie and showed us Flavor Flav tongue kissing various attention-seeking women! Irrelevant celebrities have found ways to show us just why they are so irrelevant. How corny is Ray-J? Did we really need to see Salt-N-Pepa or Scott Baio again? They just keep coming and coming and as I try to lay them to bed, I know a network is meeting with Tone Loc as you read this!

1. Barack Obama Superstar – He's the President of the United States, not a rock star. I need his productivity to be the deciding factor on his approval ratings, not the fact that he looks like a Black man or if you think he's cool. The health care push has been admirable, but with 35,000 more young Americans on their way to Afghanistan (Endless War) and millions of Americans losing their jobs monthly, Nigga you don't need to be courtside at the Wizards game. And I don't need to see your wife (she's not that pretty yall) on Essence magazine every other month.

There you have it, my wish list, what's on yours?