If You Think You're Lonely Now...




I hate Valentine’s Day! Always have, always will. To me, it’s just another day to separate the “haves”, from the “have-nots”. Like most commercialized holidays, it thrives on a materialistic declaration of appreciation towards others. I know someone is thinking it should be nothing to show how much you love your significant other, and that’s true, but a calendar shouldn’t dictate when or how I show that love and appreciation. This is not the argument for how a man shows his love for his woman, how she demonstrates her love for him or how two men or two women showcase their affection. This is about the separation of those who believe they need someone showering them with kisses, hugs and beautiful words today because it’s happening so much around them. This is about the “have-nots”.

Somewhere there’s a young girl hating herself right now because she’s not walking around her high school with more balloons than she can handle. In another place, there’s a woman who doesn’t love herself enough to know that another year spending Valentine’s Day alone, should be another year growing and learning to love. And somewhere, one of my brothers is standing in the mirror, saying damn to himself, because he’s let another woman walk out of his life. These are the products of Valentine’s Day, those who defeat themselves time and time again, because they’re competing in a game that has no true winners, only losers and those with the appearance of winning something, but who knows what.

True love is not wrapped up in February 14, 2012, but will be found on June 16th or October 15th, from someone else or your damn self! There’s no race to happiness; far too many lie, cheat and scheme to arrive at their definition of the word, while some of us take a slower journey of self-discovery, finding all of our ugly truths, the pain of breakups and ultimately the love within that allows others to love us fully. However, too many of us aren’t willing to take that voyage and would rather a short-stay of roses and dinner than the true magic of love.

Yeah, Valentine’s Day drives a wedge between those who love and those who don’t love themselves enough to know that a true love is something that can’t be defined by a calendar, Victoria’s Secret or inflated prices on last week’s roses. True love is peace. True love is balance. True love is mercy. True love is found in God…Allah, Jehovah or whatever you may refer to Him as. When I remembered that love was unwavering, a love grew in me that stands firm and projects in something as simple as a smile or the words that fill this page.

Somewhere a husband kisses his wife the same way he did the night before. In another place, a girlfriend will fall asleep with her head on her lover’s lap like she’s done dozens of times before. Probably next door to you, parents will watch their kids with happiness in their hearts and hope for the same for their children in their eyes. And yes, one of my brothers will still be standing in the mirror, saying damn to himself, because his woman left him for someone else…who loved her the way she loved herself.

So if you think you’re lonely now, wait until you realize that you really don’t love yourself…

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