Not Trying To Be The Man, I'm Simply Just A Man

Not Trying To Be The Man, I'm Simply Just A Man

Labels: Relationships

I've been sleeping three hours here, four hours there, waking and staying up at obscene times of the night. Then, actually working for at least a few hours each day, if that's what you want to call my job. I didn't sit down at a computer until late in the afternoon yesterday, so I was unable to send my daily e-mail to help you get over that Hump yesterday. So, hopefully it wasn't too high to get over and you landed on your feet one day closer to the weekend.

Somehow I ended up watching "America's Next Top Model" last night and I found myself wondering, when is this show going to end? It's getting extremly comical and cartoonish, but I guess women need something to low off steam after dealing with men hitting on them all day. I stomached all I could of that mess before turning to "Dancing With The Stars" and realizing that I was in the Wednesday night twilight zone! Television sucks on Wednesday night! I tried watching "Kidnapped", but 15 minutes in, I was watching eyelids.

I've been up since 4:48 am, mostly staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of the early morning commuters and I started thinking,is this really my life? A year ago this time, I wouldhave never dreamed in a million years that I'll be living in West Trenton, my mom would be married to a white man and my girlfriend of six years engaged to a dude she met 7 or 8 months ago.

Yeah, that kind of threw me for a loop, we were together for the better part of six years and breakup, a few months later you tell me that you're engaged. Damn, that girl rebounds better than Dennis Rodman. Yet, I get cussed out for asking questions about the dude. I get fussed out because I said I wanted to know who she was marrying so soon? I get all of the, "if you really cared you would've done this, that & the third..." I get accused of cheating throughout our entire relationship (It ain't cheating until you get caught!)

See, I looked at myself as doing the right thing when I came to the realization that I was neer going to marry this woman. When after those six years, I started closing in on 30 and knew that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I figured that it was best, even though we had been through so much together, even though we had all of those years, all we had was all of those years. I could've easily stayed with her, let her fade further and further away until she found herself completely on the outside of my life. But, I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was being an, "All true Man" like Alexander O'Neal.